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QUOTES

 

"A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore."xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all its students"
xxxxxxxxxxxYogi BerraxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxRobert Bloch

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it wasxxxxxxxxxxxx"If love is blind, then why is lingerie so popular?"
no match for me in kick-boxing."xxEmo Philips xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxAuthor unknown

"It's better to be black than to be gay because xxxxxxxxxxx"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be
when you're black, you don't have to tellxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxthere when it happens." xxxWoody Allen
your mother."xxxCharles Pierce

"I went to watch Pavarotti once. He doesn't like it xxxxxxxxxxxxxx"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did
when you join in."
xxMick Millerxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx He make them out of meat?"xxxxx John Cleese

"Have you ever noticed, in traffic, anybody going slowerxxxxxxx"The statistics on sanity are that one out of four humans are
than you is an idiot, and everyone going faster than youxxxxxxxxxsuffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your
is a maniac?"xxxxxxxGeorge Carlin
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxthree best friends. If they're OK, then it's you." Rita Mae Brown

"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing xxxxxxx"Heaven is: an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English
neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying axxxxxxxxx x house, and a Filipina wife.
little noose around your neck?"xxxxxLinda EllerbeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxHell is: a Filipina salary, an English cook, a Chinese house,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxand an American wife." xxxxJames H. Kabbler III

"Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten xxxxx xI saw six men punching and kicking my mother-in-law.
percent a bad reputation."
xxxxxHenry Kissinger xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxMy wife said, 'Are you going to help?' I said, 'No, six xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxshould be enough."xxLes Dawson

"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
the 'UP' button."xxxxxSam Levenson xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxSteven Wright

"A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a xxxx xxx "Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day."
wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Harry S. Truman

beautiful when her lips are closed." Anonymous

"Procrastination gives you something to lookxxxxxxxxxxxxx"Only two things are necessary to keep your wife happy.
forward to."xxxxxxJoan Konnerxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx One is to let her think she is having her own way, and oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx the other is to let her have it."xxxxLyndon B. Johnson

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand xxxxxxxxxxx"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it
a single word of what I am saying." xxxOscar Wilde xxxxxxxxxxxxxxand hang on." xxxxxxxxxxThomas Jefferson

"Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go backxxxxxx"Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you
in the same box."Old Italian Proverbxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxto recognize a mistake when you make it again." xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxFranklin P. Jones

"Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of xxxxxx"A woman may be able to fake an orgasm, but a man
their possessions."xxxFrank Lloyd Wright
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxcan fake an entire relationship."xxxxxSharon Stone

"No matter how bad things get, you got to go on livingxxxxxxx""Life is something you do when you can't get to sleep."
it, even if it kills you."xxxxxx
Sholom AleichemxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxFran Lebowitz

 

 By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that
is a good thing for any man.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx. Socrates


 

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