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Why look for pen pals and romance in Philippines?
You may have heard them called mail order brides (or other things) by jealous, bitter feminists, etc, but I assure you they are not that at all. Most are good, sincere ladies who just want a good husband. They are not for sale! Most have never been married. A pen pal relationship is one that must grow and be nurtured like any other relationship. You may find, as I did, that getting to know someone by correspondence is a BETTER way to begin a relationship than the typical American way of dating first. Yes, there are adjustments that must be made by a foreign wife and by the husband as well. Interracial marriages are still not accepted everywhere and immigration can be a lot of grief in some countries. Also, some men think they will "buy" a mail order wife to serve them, and keep them at home, to themselves, with no rights or friends. They may be unwilling to share everything they own equally and every facet of their lives with them, as a wife and soul mate deserve. Those marriages are doomed to failure, just as would be a marriage to a woman of the same race. A wife is the other half of your soul, not a possession. If each of you live by the Golden Rule success will follow.
By some surveys, only about 20% of Fil/Am marriage fail, compared to 50%-75% divorce rate for the common US/US marriage.
***** From khankrumthbulgar: At 50 years of Age. I am a Father to 5 Children, and 6 Grandsons. I talk to my 80 Year old Father daily on the phone. My Mother treats him like a King. He has a hard time understanding Gender issues for Men. How could he not? He has been Married to my Mother. She cooks like Betty Crocker, treats him with respect, admiration and love daily. At 51 years they still love one another.
I have lived offshore from the US. I know of several Friends and an ex Brother In law married to an Asian Woman. All Marriages are intact after 10 years and several 20 years. Foreign Women lack what Fred Reed calls the "Chip On The Shoulder". Decades of Misandry and Oprah has created a female populace who according to a marriage Therapist are Unrealistic and unreasonable. She told me for Marriages to work both parties must be both. In my opinion American Women over value their worth. Their sense of entitlements and demands are just plain crazy.
Do the numbers. California's stats are so bad they no longer publish them. But raw data points to a Divorce rate exceeding 75%. Women have no incentives to stay married after Spawning a couple of annuities (children), and life is not about following the herd but doing what is in your best interest. Men must adopt Mitigation Strategies. They must make choices to minimize liabilities and maximize their happiness. US has become Sex Prison for Men. Full of overweight FemBots who are full of STDs. Women who prefer Thugs, Players, Bad Boys, Convicts to decent Men. Hell Serial Killers have female Admirers here. Go figure that insanity.
The International Marriage Brokers Act is a lame attempt to regulate Market demand for Wives. American Women are overpriced and damaged goods. Would you hunt where all the game were infected with Mad Cow Disease?? Or fish in a Polluted Lake or pond with Chemicals that you make you sick? US Culture is toxic for Women. Have you read the article by Michael Noer on Forbes.com about what poor choices Career Women are for wives? US Women want a life without consequences for their actions. And to make matters worse they are no restraints on their behavior.
***** From Lestavw: I do not own any international dating website, but as a former client of one, I was able to meet a number of Russian women in my several trips to the Former Soviet Union (FSU), including Russia and Ukraine. Currently, I am happily married to a lovely young Russian lady whom I met through an "international marriage broker". I would like to share some of my observations and insight in comparing Russian women with American feminists, whom I have encountered at work and social settings.
What impressed me at first about Russian women were their beauty, intelligence and feminine behavior. As I got to know them better, I realized that most are also loyal, appreciative, accomodating and very family-oriented, much more so than our American feminists. In fact, a big difference is that Russian ladies truely APPRECIATE and LIKE MEN, while many feminists seem to have a chip on their shoulders, as they harbor anger and resentment toward men in general.
Many feminist women have been abused in the past, which is tragic. A good many are involved in counseling for their personal problems and many are also addicted to Prozac and Zoloft. This is hardly the case with these lovely Russian ladies. In fact, even though they have less materially, these European women seem to have healthier self-esteem and overall, they seem happier (and less bitter) than their feminist counterparts. Because of these differences, I believe that Russian women make better wives and mothers than the American feminists.
Almost all Russian ladies looking for an American husband are beautiful, tall and slim. Just go to any of the Russian bride websites, such as loveme.com or elenasmodels.com and this becomes obvious. On the contrary, I have noticed that many U.S. feminist women have problems controlling their weight. It seems like chocholate is their solace. This is in direct contrast to FSU women who take pride in their personal appearance and have the necessary self-respect and self-control to remain slim. Instinctively, men realize that they have a better chance of having healthy babies with a young, tall and slim Russian woman than with a 300 pound U.S. feminist porker. Subsequently, some American men view feminist women as "damaged goods" and this perception has further increased their interest in Russian brides.
International romance has become a free market - women with superior qualities will win the hearts of American men, who are highly desired by women around the world. IMBRA, even if upheld, will not stem this tide because of the growing awareness (among men) that foreign women tend to be more physically fit, loyal, devoted and family-oriented than their American counterparts. As result, American men will continue to go abroad in record numbers to look for their soulmate.
***** From Jaybird: lestatvw; You're so rigth on it with the "damaged goods" statement about AW....I knew a bunch of them from a social setting - church - they all thought they were soooo special, GOD's gift to men..ha not! most were in counseling....but acted under the presumption that all men are dogs until proven otherwise...AW's most definatly have a chip on their shoulder.....
***** From Summerbob1993: While I don't have experience with Russian women, I do think that what you say is true for many, if not most, foreign women in general. I can speak for women from the Philippines. What I like the most about them is they don't judge a man by his looks or age. They love you for YOU. In America, My God! If you're over 28 you're too old for an 18 to 23 year old. If you're over 35, you're too old for anyone under 25, and if you're 40 you're too old for anyone under 30. It's ridiculous! I once sat in a dentist's office and read the ads in the back of Washingtonian magazine. EVERY SINGLE lady under the age of 30 had an "upper age limit" of 35. It was like, when you turn 35 you're dead! I told the dentist about it and he said "you better hurry up and get married" (I was 33 at the time!). In the Philippines, by contrast, many women, including very young beautiful ones, will accept a man into his 40's, 50's or even older! I couldn't believe it when I first saw it! I personally know two couples who are gapped by at least 20 years and now live in the Philippines, dispelling the myth that these women "just want to come to the United States". My wife from the Philippines cooks for me, takes care of the kids, lays out my clothes for me, buys wine for me on weekends even though she doesn't drink herself, and has loved me unconditionally through every sickness or other crisis I've been through. She supports me in every decision I make. When I wanted to spend $400 on a new C++ compiler she didn't object, saying it was "good for my career". I don't think I could have found an American woman who would be as good and gracious to me as my wife has been. I will continue to fight for the freedom of my two sons to one day marry a woman in the Philippines, if they so choose.
Other sites like americanwomensuck.com and nomarriage.com can give you other insights about American women/feminists vs a foreign wife as well.
In the last 10 years, according to CNN, there were three Mail-Order Brides (MOBs) killed by their spouse.
They are Anastacia King, Alla Barney and Susana Blackwell. It is estimated that in the last 10 years,
about 100,000 foreign nationals (almost all women) came to the U.S. and married Americans. This is
consistant with Representative Rick Larsen (D-Wahington)'s estimate of about 8,000-12,000 foreign women
coming to this country each year as MOBs. Thus, the spousal murder rate in MOBs is estimated to be
about ONE in 33,000 marriages over a 10 year period. As tragic as the MOB murders are, the domestic
spousal murders are just as deplorable. According to the American Institute on Domestic Violence,
about 1,200 women have been killed by their intimate partner each year. This is consistant with the
government report: http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/ipv01.pdf Assuming that about 50 percent of
intimate partners are married, this would be about 600 spousal murders per year, or about 6000 women
murdered by their husband over a 10 year period. From 1994-2003 (10 year period), there were
about 23,127,000 domestic marriages. So about 6000 women murdered out of 23,127,000 marriages or ONE
in about 3854 marriages over a 10 year period. What this means is that over a 10 year period, based on
the available data, there may be about EIGHT TIMES LESS RATE of spousal murder in MOBs compared to
general population. Here are some USA stats for you according to this government report
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/ipv01.pdf (1976) - 1600 women murdered by their spouse
(34.9% of all murders) (1980) - 1549 women murdered by their spouse (29.6% of all murders)
(1990) - 1501 women murdered by their spouse (29.3 % of all murders) (1193) - 1581 women murdered
by their spouse (28.5 % of all murders) (2000) - 1247 women murdered by there spouse (33.5 % of all
murders) That is over 7400 women murdered by there spouse in those 5 years reviewed
OH BY THE WAY 4500 MEN WERE MURDERED BY THERE SPOUSE IN THOSE SAME 5 YEARS HOW MANY DOCUMENTED CASES
OF MEN KILLING MALE ORDER BRIDES ARE THERE IN THESE SAME 5 YEARS WHERE 7400 WOMEN WERE MURDERED....2, 1,
0? 7400 women murdered by their spouse in those years above... so the senator from Washington
State talks about 2 foreign ladies in 10 years....SO WHERE ARE THE STATS? sounds like USA couples are
doing just fine at murdering each other... HOW ARE MAIL ORDER BRIDES MORE LIKELY TO BE VICTIMS OF THIS?
they are not.. it is all about smoke and mirrors _______________________________________________
Thousands Of Mail-Order Brides Killed Every Year! By their own husbands! Well, not thousands. Well,
not even hundreds. In the last 10 years, CNN reports that three were killed by their spouse. Luckily,
that hasn't stopped Representative Rick Larsen (D-Virginia) from, in Ken Layne's words, "presenting a
bill to end the bloodshed": One of the provisions of the bill would require that brides be informed of
their husbands' criminal records. Assuming the average over the past decade is in the middle, there
have been about 100,000 mail-order marriages over the past decade. This means one in 33,333
MOBs have been murdered since 1995. According to the American Institute on Domestic Violence,
1,232 women are killed each year by an intimate partner. So roughly, 12,320 women have been killed by
their "intimate" over the past decade. From 1994 to 2003 there was roughly 23,127,000 marriages in the
U.S. This works out to one murder per 1,878 marriage. So "legitimate" marriages are about 18 times more
likely to end in murder. But, they're probably much less likely to end in headlines for Congressmen.
It's always interesting when you see the rare person in the news biz draw out the reality of the
statistics. =================== Scripps Howard News Service WASHINGTON -- The "Ozzie and Harriet"
style family is not dead in America, but is now often found in those with names such as Wu or Lee.
More than eight out of 10 Asian-American children in the United States live with both parents, a rate of
two-parent families significantly higher than for any other racial or ethnic group, according to a new
Census Bureau study. "This is just a tradition. Divorce is something quite new to the Asian countries,
really only in the last 50 years," said Juju Lien, executive director of the Asian-American Institute
in Chicago. The Census Bureau reported Wednesday that 84 percent of all Asian-American children in 1997
were living with both parents, significantly above the national average. Seventy-seven percent of
non-Hispanic white children live in two-parent homes, the second highest rate for any major ethnic or
racial group. "We are more group- and family-oriented, perhaps not so individualistic," said Yoko
Baba, associate professor of sociology at San Jose State University. "Asians expect the parents to stay
together. That may come from the Buddhist religion and other traditions in which the children are taught
to respect their parents and ancestors." The Census report estimated that Asians and Pacific Islanders
numbered 10.1 million last year, representing 4 percent of the total U.S. population. It is the nation's
fastest growing racial group. The study found that 78.5 percent of the 2.2 million Asian families are
headed by married couples, more than the 76.3 percent for non-Hispanic whites or any other major group.
"Socially, Asian immigrants have focused on the survival issues of trying to establish themselves and to
build a family," Lien said. "They don't have nightclubs or other social alternatives in which they
can run into affair-type situations. The family is central." Asian-Americans also enjoy the highest
educational and economic levels of any major ethnic group. About 80 percent have graduated from
high school and 40 percent have earned a bachelor's degree. Asian-American families had a median
income of $49,105 in 1996, well above the national average of $42,300. All of these factors help
bring stability to Asian family structure, Lien and Baba said. =============================
========================== The Illegal Immigration Reform and Immigrant Responsibility Act of 1996,
passed in September 1996, included a provision (Section 652), requiring the Attorney General
to conduct a study of the mail-order bride industry. During the 1970's and 1980's, a yearly average
of 5,300 persons became immigrants through this route. During the 1990's through 1997, the yearly
average has been 6,400, of which about 79 percent are women. The failure of the couple to marry
within the 90-day period of admission with the K visa may indicate that fraud was involved or that abuse
developed soon after the fiancé(e) arrived, although other explanations are, of course, possible.
Approximately 1,100 more fiancé(e)s arrived per year on average in the 1970's and 1980's than adjusted
to permanent resident alien status, and in the 1990's the average yearly excess of arrivals over
adjustments has been 2,200. Section 652 of IIRIRA quoted an estimate of unspecified origin that
"2,000 to 3,500 men in the United States find wives through mail-order bride catalogs each year."
At that level, the mail-order bride business would have accounted for 1.5 percent to 2.7 percent of
the 132,000 female spouses referred to above who entered in 1997. Robert J. Scholes of the
University of Florida, who has published previous research in this area. Professor Scholes (1997)
estimated that as of 1996, the number of marriages resulting from mail-order agencies annually was
4,000. In his most recent study in the spring of 1998, he estimated the number to be within a range
of 4,000 to 6,000 Marriage Fraud Just as it is difficult to know with certainty the number of
marriages contracted through the services of the mail-order bride industry, it is even more difficult
to establish what proportion of these marriages are fraudulent. Section 652 of IIRIRA attributed to INS
an estimate that the rate of marriage fraud is 8 percent. First, the marriage may be one in name only,
for the sole purpose of securing immigration benefits; often money is exchanged in these cases. Second,
the immigrant may feign interest in the U.S. citizen or LPR spouse, only to abandon him or her after
the marriage. In either type of fraud, the immigrant may be a woman or a man. In FY 1994, the
last year for which detailed data were maintained, INS reviewed 96,033 applications for removal
of conditional status and removed the conditions on 90,243, or 94 percent. Of the cases denied for
cause, 266 (37 percent) were foreign-born wives of U.S. citizens Based on a sample of these 266 women
(see Appendix B), INS researchers estimate that a minimum of 4 percent to a maximum of 9 percent of their
marriages were arranged through the international matchmaking industry. INS researchers believe
that the lower bound estimate of 4 percent is the most probable INS researchers then examined the
sampled case files for documented evidence of fraud. Based on this review, 1 percent of the 266
conditional cases denied for cause were estimated to have been both arranged through the mail-order
industry (3) Adjustment of Status by Mail-Order Spouses Under the VAWA Provisions of the Immigration
and Nationality Act INS researchers selected for review all of the 27 self-petitioning cases involving
abuse in FY 1996, to look for any evidence of mail-order arrangements. The abused spouses came from 14
countries, with the most common being Mexico (6 persons) and the Philippines (4 persons). No mail-order
introductions were found among the 1996 group. INS researchers reviewed all self-petitioning spousal
abuse cases in the active caseload early in FY 1998 (described in Appendix B). The number of these
petitions is continuing to grow. Of nearly 400 cases reviewed, most of which had already been approved,
2 cases, or 0.5 percent of the total, involved mail-order matches. Both cases involved women from the
former Soviet Union. Although the data available for review at this time show very few mail-order
brides among those who have used these provisions to date.
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